At Year's End

Someone asked me today what I had planned for tonight on New Year's Eve. I hadn't even considered a plan. To me the day feels like any other. I get up, go to a doctor's appointment, do the family thing, hit the gym and the hours pass. I love my friends who are truthfully as much family to me (more so really) than those I share DNA with save a few. However, at year's end, I actually prefer to be alone. I want to think and ponder the previous year's events, dream and pray about the next year. I prefer a very quiet New Year's celebration. It's kind of a sacred reflection time for me where I look at all I have to be grateful for and search out God's heart for me for the next year. I am most grateful for the peace of mind I have received this year. My word for 2014 was "Joy". I wanted to understand it and really to attain it within. What I found was that "Grateful-Joy." I live in Joy when I live in Thanks. The idea is not new. It is scriptual and much better written about by Ann Voscamp than by me....check out "A Thousand Gifts"--worth a read for sure. I spent this week really assessing the word "boundary," realigning priorities. I love a lot of people,it is the nature of being one who is loved much but I'm always searching out what it means to love well! For some great direction on this here are some great links:

http://blazingfire.podbean.com/mf/play/p7suh7/DSilk020714.mp3

http://blazingfire.podbean.com/e/danny-silk-2-8-14-morning/ http://blazingfire.podbean.com/e/danny-silk-2-8-14-afternoon/

http://blazingfire.podbean.com/e/danny-silk-2-8-14-evening/

In case you didn't know, there is some great stuff coming out of Bethel Church in Redding, CA. The links are of Danny Silk, the author of Keep Your Love On, Loving Your Kids on Purpose, Culture of Honor and some other stuff that I'm sure is equally fantastic. We live in pretty much a boundaryless society. We don't like rules but we also don't seem to know how to live free. We associate freedom and liberty with "I can do whatever I want no matter who gets hurt in the process and that is what makes me free." I hate to break it to those that believe this, not having control of ones own actions (i.e. self control) is actually the ultimate bondage. There is no freedom in that and the actions that come from that mentality rob others of their freedom as well, leaving a wake of pain, despair, hopelessness, and slavery. 

I use the word slavery a lot because of the work I do with trafficking victims. Many people do not know what trafficking (another post waiting to be written) really is, much less identify it as slavery. Slavery certainly applies to trafficking but it also applies to any time we hand our control over to another human, making them our master. Handing over our self-control isn't the same thing as bucking the system or refusing to submit to appropriate, non-abusive authority. Handing over our self-control is saying you are responsible for my actions. You made me angry, you made me hurt you. It is also handing over our self to unsafe people. At some point on my journey I realized that I usually trusted unsafe people more than safe people due to being trained as a young child that "I hurt you because I love you." "I break boundaries and/or don't protect you from those that hurt because it appears safer than taking a stand." It is true, taking a stand is dangerous and freedom comes at a high cost. It can cost you relationships that appeared loving. It can cost you jobs, money, prestige and for some it has cost them their lives. Jesus says that He came to make us free, "If therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed."--John 8:36 As an American I have certain freedoms that others from many countries do not have. However, we can have all of the American freedom awarded to us and still not be free, while someone can be a literal slave, whilst basking in the freedom of spirit provided by God. 

There is only one that can free the Spirit...He has a name-Jesus! As I reflect on the past year, I see His work all over my life as He continues to free me to be all that the Father designed me to be. I'm so excited to see what the next steps in the journey are because I know the Freedom Maker is never going to stop making me free. Frankly, He just loves me too much! That's how you know you have taken hold of your place as Son or Daughter of the Most High God, you know that, you know that, you know He loves you and He will never stop fighting to make you free! Don't mistake this knowledge for the belief that I am somehow special. John 3:16-17 says "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him." If you start this New Year off with any truth at all, start it with God loves you and He wants you to receive the freedom only He can offer. 

I pray everyday for the women I work with to gain ground in His freedom, to see His love as stronger than their pain, His light more powerful than any amount of darkness. He said we would do greater works than He accomplished in His ministry through the Holy Spirit. I wait with bated breath to see how He is going to move next on behalf of those imprisoned literally through trafficking as well as us who live technically free, but are grappling with what it means to live completely free.

Happy New Year! May Freedom ring louder in your Spirit than ever before through the Freedom Maker, Jesus!

Mickey

Fall Is My Favorite Season

Someone I know once said, "Fall is the season where every leaf becomes a flower!"  I'm not sure it is his original quote but I love it just the same.  When the leaves begin to change, I take more deep breaths than any other time of year.  I move slower, breathing in the aroma of rain on the wind, seek out the warmth of family, soup, and hot tea even more than usual.

For many I know it is a very challenging season, full of painful memories of vile attack on body, mind, and spirit.  They know who they are and I pray they know I stand with them in intercession for healing, that they know someone is witness to their pain before the throne of God.  Still I cannot help this being my favorite season and I pray for the redemptive salve of a restoring Savior to infiltrate their pain and help them see the beauty I see in both them and this season.

I find it ironic that leaves become their most beautiful just before they are to leave the land of the living, providing sustenance to the soil for the next year.  It is such an example of the requirement Jesus places on His brothers and sisters to die to self so that one might live completely and WHOLE in Him.  The journey of healing from complex trauma is so much more a time of Fall and Winter than one would imagine without the experience of entering into such a journey.  It can be just as painful as the events themselves that brought the necessity for healing in the first place, yet, it is full of other stuff too....spurts of life, laughter, the release of tears pent up and held back far too long!  It is life giving pain instead of the life stealing kind we complex trauma survivors have believed is our lot in life.

I met my husband anew on this journey, finding in him to be the companion my heart longed for as he faithfully walked an arduous journey to reclaim his wife's mind, putting a stop to the resounding echoes of the past.  I lost many I trusted and gained others more capable of holding my heart safely.  I became one more capable of holding another's heart safely.

The biggest surprise though, was this God I thought I knew but found the knowing to be barely attained in the many years before.  I found His eyes loving, His tone gentle, His embrace of the grandest comfort.  I found my true Daddy.  I met Jesus anew too, I found him to be a faithful brother and the Great Lion that roared against the injustice of it all while simultaneously meeting me in all the dark places.  I found the effervescent material that makes up the Holy Spirit to be kind, wrapping love in and out, all around purely without expectation or need from me, but with just a desire to be comforter and teacher. I found the Trinity and in the space where I am always able to connect to them, it is eternally Fall.